so its been a kind of crazy week. i have started getting more and more personal training clients-which in one way is fantastic! I actually feel like I am doing something good at work, rather then just sitting there wasting my time-i feel like i have a purpose and am actually helping people....which is a great feeling. but then again it is kind of hard on the kids and the fam. because of the job, i have strange hours that are no consistant and some days have me going in at three different time for like an hour each. and it is so exhausting to drag the girls all over the place. in and out, coats on coats off, pack the diaper bag....blah blah blah and by the end of each day I am just exhausted. I have started thinking that maybe I am being selfish in wanting to work so much, even though i know its not the best set up for the kids. Its just that we had cheyenne so early, that I never got to get out there and work full time for a while, like i had hoped - so now i am trying to make it work even though i think God wants me to be more present in my kids lives, but i am having a really hard time accepting that...so i think i have oome to a fork in the road. do we keep trying at this untill we think we got it right, or do i try to be a sahm, even though i think thats not what i want? i am so torn.